Woah. Just, woah. So, basically, what this ad for an x-rated watch is telling me is: what was the point of inventing the iphone. Steve Jobs, RIP, much love, but, come on, how much trouble did you go through to invent something that accomplished the 2 most important objectives of the iphone (namely, porn and music, but also knowing what time it is can be nifty). And this - holy shit, this is a watch. Which means it’s already half the size of an iphone, and seeing as it comes with a sturdy fastening mechanism that ensures you will probably never drop your better-than-an-iphone-porn-watch, well, my god, we have a winner. Who is the inventor of this? Why don’t I know his name? Is he rich? He sure as hell should be. And it only cost $39.95?? Adjusted for inflation, still cheaper than an iphone. I’m totally freaking out right now, guys, because I’ve decided that it is now my life’s mission to find one of these proto-iphones and hermetically seal it in some sort of display box for future generations to laud and admire. Fuck an iphone. Sex watch for life.